How I would have booked WrestleMania XXVII, plus the subsequent Raw and SmackDown

For starters, I'd like to apologize for not posting anything over the past few months (then again, nobody's really reading this blog).  I just haven't had the motivation to write anything in here.  But after what happened last week, I feel I must break my silence.

WrestleMania XXVII, held on April 3, 2011 at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, has to be, arguably, the worst WrestleMania of all time.  Your mileage may vary, of course, but after reading the results and watching the live chat on WWE.com, I honestly felt that this was worse that WrestleMania IX (which had lackluster matches, and stupid angles such as Hulk Hogan winning the WWF Title for no real reason) and WrestleMania XI (which also had lackluster matches, stupid angles, plus the main event involving a CELEBRITY {okay, he's a professional athlete of another sport}).  What exactly did I hate about Mania 27, you ask?  Well, here's what I posted on Facebook...

"Oh, boy. Where do I begin?

First off, they completely screw Daniel Bryan and Sheamus by putting them in a dark Lumberjack Match which then turns into a non-title Battle Royal!

Then what's the first match at the actual event? The World Heavy...weight Championship Match! Uh, aren't World Title matches supposed to be near the END of WrestleMania?!

At least Edge retained his title. That's one good thing.

Cody Rhodes then beat Rey Mysterio. That was okay.

Then we had the Eight Man Tag Team match. I thought Kofi was the perfect replacement for Vladimir Kozlov since he had history with The Corre. My only problem? IT WAS TOO DAMN SHORT!

As for the Orton/Punk match, I have to say I was a little disappointed.

Now we get to the moment that really pissed me off...

THAT (EXPLETIVE DELETED) RAW GM REVERSED THE (EXPLETIVE DELETED) DECISION ON THE KING/COLE MATCH!!

Whoever the Raw General Manager is...(EXPLETIVE DELETED) you.

I'm sure the Taker/Triple H match was epic...but it still didn't save the show.

I have no comment on the Snooki match.

Now, as for the final Cena/Miz match...I absolutely HATED HATED HATED HATED the ending. Sure, The Rock restarted the match, then he gave the Rock Bottom to Cena (who deserved it), but then...THE MIZ RETAINED THE WWE TITLE!!!

While many people say he deserves his spot, that still doesn't change my view of him. I ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY HATE HIM! (and I know I'm probably in the minority of that opinion)

Even though The Rock beat up The Miz after the match ended, it still didn't save the show. It was doomed from the start. THAT'S MY VIEW AND I'M STICKING TO IT!

(Whew!)"

Plus, on the following night's Raw, we had Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler reunite for the first segment, but it quickly went all downhill from there...

THEY CONTINUED THE (EXPLETIVE DELETED) MICHAEL COLE ANGLE!!!

Plus, they had him completely embarrass Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, two Hall of Famers, and have him take over the show again.  Because of this, I am boycotting Raw and SmackDown until they take Michael Cole off of television.

Now, how would I have booked WrestleMania differently?  Well, let's find out.

First-off, I would keep the pre-show battle royal, only not include Daniel Bryan and Sheamus (obviously).

Then, The Rock would welcome the audience to WrestleMania, but not have a 20-minute promo.  Also, there wouldn’t be as many “entertaining” backstage segments.

Calling the action for the first part of the show would be Josh Mathews and Booker T.

Now, the wrestling begins, with…(drumroll)…Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus for the U.S. Title.  Bryan would win by a surprise roll-up to regain the Title (which he would then lose the following night on Raw).

Second, keep the Rhodes/Mysterio match the same (having Rhodes beat Mysterio)

Third, the eight-man tag match would be longer…and this time, The Corre would win.

Fourth, CM Punk vs. Randy Orton.  This time I’d have Punk win, but Orton would get the last laugh by RKO-ing Punk after the match due to the Straight Edge Superstar bragging right to Orton’s face.

Fifth, the Edge/Del Rio world title match.  I’d keep the match the same (Edge retaining).

Now, onto the King/Cole match.

Obviously, Cole would have little-to-no offense on King.  However, Swagger would interfere and end up throwing Lawler on Josh Mathews, taking him out.  Austin would then stunner Swagger after the All-American American flips the Rattlesnake off.  The match would end with Lawler delivering his fist drop and Austin counting the 1-2-3.  Now, for the after-match.  Cole would regain consciousness and begin to complain to Austin, who would respond with a Stunner.  And then…King would give Michael Cole a well-deserved Piledriver.  And after that, Booker T comes into the ring to do the spin-a-roonie, and the Austin stuns him.  Yeah, I kept that part it.  So now, JR and King call the rest of the event.

Next would be Undertaker/Triple H.  No changes there.

After that…yes, I’m putting the Mixed Tag Match here to give the crowd a chance to relax.  Oh, and it’s a lumberjill match involving the other Divas.  Morrison and Ziggler would get more involved, and the face team would win.  Oh, I’d also have Morrison give Starship Pain to Vickie as payback for a few weeks earlier.

Now, for the last match.  Here’s how I’d end it—Miz hits SCF on Cena, but Cena kicks out.  Cena gives AA to Miz, but Miz kicks out.  A ref bump, then Miz gives a SCF to Cena on the floor, grabs the title, then tries to walk out of the Georgia Dome, but The Rock stops him and throws him back into the ring.  Cena, who managed to recover would then hit another AA on Miz, and Cena covers.  Rock counts two, but then stops just before three.  Cena gives him a surprised look, and Rock then Rock Bottoms Cena.  Miz then slowly makes his way to the Cena and covers just as the ref regains consciousness.  Yeah, I don’t like it, but I decided to let Miz retain.  But then, Rock would give Miz the Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to end the show.

With this WrestleMania, we’d have the Bryan/Sheamus match, the one title change at WrestleMania that’s been around since the beginning, plus all of the other divas would be involved.

Now as for Raw, here's what I would have changed...

After the opening Triple H promo, Cole would come out wearing a neck brace, and limping to the ring, complaining that his match against Lawler was unfair and demand that the Anonymous General Manager reverse the decision.

However, Stone Cold would then come out, saying that he was supposed to come out later to introduce the Tough Enough contestants, but after hearing Michael Cole continue to run his mouth off, he couldn’t take it anymore.  The Rattlesnake would then explain that last night he discovered who the Anonymous General Manager really was, stating that backstage after the match, he overheard Cole and Swagger talking, before revealing that the General Manager was in fact, all this time…MICHAEL COLE!!

Cole brags about fooling everyone all this time (yeah, right!), and then tries to reverse the decision himself, but Austin stuns him, and then invites the Divas to the ring, who then continue beating up on Cole, including a Glam Slam by Beth Phoenix, and a Sharpshooter by Natalya.  Finally, the King would enter the ring, with J.R. telling him that enough is enough, and Lawler gives Cole one more piledriver.  Just then, the GM beeps, much to everyone’s confusion.  Jim Ross then goes to the laptop and reads the e-mail stating “And I quote…due to his actions over the past several months, Michael Cole has been suspended indefinitely!” (yes, Jim Ross does say “And I quote” as it’s part of the message) Cole would then be taken out on a stretcher, while the audience sings “na-na-na-na hey hey goodbye!”

After the break, Jack Swagger is seen arguing with Arn Anderson about being refused entry into the building.  Double A informs the All-American American that he has been ejected from the arena by orders of the Anonymous General Manager.  Swagger refuses to budge and demands to speak to Michael Cole.  Anderson says that it just isn’t possible and points out the stretcher carrying Cole.  Swagger asks the paramedics what happened, but they won’t answer, so he decides to follow them.

Back at ringside, as the participants for the Orton/Mysterio-Punk/Rhodes match enter the arena, J.R. announces that in celebration of King’s victory at WrestleMania, plus Cole’s departure, he’s throwing a party after the show.

Later that night, when Austin comes out to introduce the Tough Enough contestants, he gives Lawler a souvenir…Michael Cole’s BlackBerry that he’d been using to send himself the e-mails.  He had pocketed it after stunning Cole in the ring (at Raw), which means that he was also the one that sent the e-mails earlier in the show.  Then, after the Tough Enough crew were introduced, when The Miz comes out, he congratulates Stone Cold for his actions earlier in the show, stating that Michael Cole was starting to get on his nerves, before going back to bashing him.

During the John Morrison/Dolph Ziggler match (just a singles match between the two of them), when Vickie (who was still suffering the affects of Starship Pain from 24 hours earlier) tries to interfere during the match, Trish Stratus (who accompanied Morrison to the ring) gives her a Chick Kick.  After the match, and Ziggler loses, the “Perfection” simply leaves Vickie lying there.  Ultimately, during the break, when several officials try to help her to the back, she shoves them off, screams likes a banshee, then heads back under her own power.

And as I mentioned back at WrestleMania, Sheamus wins the rematch to regain the U.S. Title from Daniel Bryan, and afterwards, is attacked by the debuting Sin Cara.

Yes, I would have kept the Rock/Cena confrontation and announcement of their match for Mania 28.  I didn't know what else to put there.

Now, here's how I would have changed SmackDown...

Josh Mathews and Booker T call SmackDown by themselves.  Booker says that he and Josh attended a party thrown by J.R. and The King celebrating Michael Cole’s defeat at WrestleMania, total embarrassment on Raw, and suspension from the WWE.  Josh says that it’s been an almost perfect week for him.  The only things wrong with it were the fact that he was taken out by Jack Swagger at WrestleMania and that he didn’t have any shots at Cole on Raw for himself (due to the Twitter controversy).

Jack Swagger comes out later in the night, explaining that he’s sent a letter of complaint to Vince McMahon in response to Michael Cole’s humiliation at WrestleMania and “wrongful” suspension on Raw.  He also vows to make Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, AND Stone Cold Steve Austin pay for their “crimes”.  That’s when Sin Cara enters and attacks.

As for the Christian/Del Rio match, it ends in a no contest when Brodus Clay, Ricardo Rodriguez, and Edge get involved.  Teddy Long comes out and announces that the World Heavyweight Championship ladder match will now be a triple threat involving Edge, Alberto Del Rio, and Christian!  By doing this situation, Del Rio gets his rematch, plus the fans get what they want--Christian given an opportunity for the World Heavyweight Championship.

But, if you watched the Blue Brand this past Friday, you'd notice that Cole was still on that show, plus the Ladder Match is again Edge/Del Rio with no Christian.  Now you see why I'm boycotting that show, too.

Man, that was a long one.  Hopefully I'll be able to come up with more blog entries soon (that is, if anyone will read them).

That's my rant.  I'm outta here.